silent hill na!

Yay!

For years, videogamers have explored the dark side of a mysterious town called Silent Hill. Now's your chance to see why many of them haven't come back. Of course, you may hear the words "videogame adaptation" and justifiably flinch in terror, but hear this: Silent Hill is groundbreaking, at least in being the first such film of any cinematic merit whatsoever. When Radha Mitchell loses her daughter in an abandoned mining town, things quickly go from bad (lost daughter!) to worse (forebodingly foggy town!) to absolutely unspeakable (unspeakable horror!). Silent Hill's dense plotting and troublesome, occasionally feckless dialogue don't do the audience any favors, and writer Roger Avary, who obviously wants us to take this seriously, ought to know a little better. Still, the pervasive sense of horror--aided by atrocities both human and supernatural and a clear refusal to bow to convention--can't be underestimated. The film's terrifying disintegrations into pure nightmare--and the hideously warped denizens of one city's private hell--are what you'll remember: murderous refugees that might have come from Francis Bacon's darker fantasies, wandering a hallucinatory village of the damned. Love it or hate it, this is one former videogame that isn't playing around.

-E! online

showing na to sa gateway! nood nga kami sa sat eh!

helpless room

I tried rearranging my room today, which was a result of my dream arrangement last insomniac night. My room is small and I have lots of stuff, so its pretty complicated to find the right place for everything. I then found out that the furnitures to be moved does not fit where i want them to fit. After an hour, more or less, of frustration I decided to give up, leaving the room looking like it did before (dusts were left untouched). What a stupid idea.

The homosexual industry

Homosexual are totally alienated in our country. Though gradually, acceptance maybe possible. The truth is, homosexuals are an important part of society, and maybe the only reason for alienaton is their flagrancy. Once they realize that homosexuality is a sexual preference rather than a behaviour, the gender alienation will finally be over. Maybe..

Pokemon!!

Pokemon is back, and I found myself in love again to my once favorite cartoon, even though I officially decided that anime is so over for me (Pokemon is anime right?). Ngayon ko lang narealize how corny the opening theme is. The weird thing is, I am feeling again the excitement I felt everytime I hear the song. I am feeling again anticipation and excitement. There is just something different about it, almost subliminally hypnotizing (or maybe the inner chil is coming out).

Future...

In 20 years.....


I will be driving a red or yellow beetle.....


I will be a doctor and enjoying it........

I will live in a condo near Makati!


I will be Professional blog writer.....


I will be a part time vocalist in an acoustic band....

I will love my brown labrador......

I wouldve gone to Paris......


have learned french......



Ayoko maging super rich, so high upper financial life........


:)

The Sanctity of Marriage

Its official, I am now a pessimist on regards to marriage. I never really see the eternal love and happiness marriage promises to people. All I see is a never ending frustration of each other. Well maybe this might be my recently discovered fear of commitment. I didnt really go through any realtionships yet, so I dont have any evidenciary suport or experiences to back up my theory. Its just I dont see myself being happy with another person for all of my life. Im still confused abput the love concept though. I dont really know if I still believe in love. For me, love is a trap, a blindfold, an illusion.... a temporary high that disguises itself as an everlasting happiness. The truth is, theoretically, is that love is a mirage. It makes us believe that our expectations for our partners, our ideal view of them, is true.

Its true that amidst all our problems, our true color shows. And that is what happens in marriages, facing problems together. When our true color shows, we are left but depressed, reminiscing our past ideals and dreams, desiring again for that past love we once knew. This might be brought about by media's overrated opinion of marriage. They exaggeratedly tell us all the wonders and glory it brings, which maybe a rare occasion in reality, and we are left unsatisfied because our realtionships were not as good as we have expected.

The only problem people who doesnt believe in matrimony is of course loneliness. We might have a lot of friends but at the end of the day, it all comes down to family. For me, I might consider relationships. But I dont want to go as far as that. I can live with a person but no marriage. I am also dreaming of adopting. I can see myself as a single parent. It maybe a a hell of a long term goal, being young as I am, but thinking about my future, which aims to ignore social norms, is fun. Maybe my views will change later, but I am just glad of outpouring my thoughts while they are still fresh.

Metamorphosing every year

When I look back to my past, I see how much I've changed in personality, and of course looks, however unneccessary. Even before I attended school, I was a spoiled brat, being the bunso, and the most lucky child for being born in the more succesful times of our family. I was inhibited and was the baby of our family, consuming the attention of everyone in the house. Sometimes, wala akong takot sagutin yung mga adults sa amin, pinsan man or tita. It was a past I dont want to go back to. Yet, my brothers back then were fond of cornering me and teasing me. Siyempre, di ako lumalaban, bunso eh.

When I was in Prep, I had all my friends on my clutches. I was their boss, like for example when I have an argument with someone, I would easily tell everyone to ignore that person, and people will follow me. I had no sense of morality back then, no conscience, only the excessive desire for attention.

However, I was a home buddy. I didnt make any friends outside our house. I usually exaggerated that my parents' overprotection was the reason of my shyness with neighbors.

I cant really remember much when I was in grade 1, all I can remember was taking my card from Ms. Badiola. She was saying how much she will miss me. There were no bad memories back then. It was in Grade 2 that I felt na pinagiinitan ako ng teacher--si Ms Calambro. I dont really know why, but she always see me as an idiot, a hopeless idiotic social speck. I frequently failed in Math back then, having lines of 7. Maybe that was the reason.

In Grade 3, I remember jumping up and down on card day when I found out that I was relieved from the bottom ranks and promoted to top 23. This is one memory that i find funny up to now. Mrs. Posadas, unlike Calambro, is fond of me.

I believe that it was in Grade 4 that I started my gradual metamorphosis as a person. My adviser warned my parents that I was making all sorts of wrong peers, and my parents told me to stay away from them, which I did. In Grade 5, my bestfriend in grade 3 was my bestfriend then. He was such a fun company, we could create silly stories, often satirical of the people we know in school. I was still a spoiled brat then.

Grade 6 was the loneliest year of my life. This was the time that my inner anti-social behavior was most active. Of course, in the pasy years before I was generally shy, been known as a silent son whenever my mom (or my whole family) would go out for a social gathering. I didnt made much friends. This year was the foundation of my ongoing evolution of my principles about friendship and faith. This was also the year that I excelled in my studies, making it finally in the class top 10. But however, I became very obsessed with my grades. I became boastful and arrogant. This would go on up to my first year in high school.

Grade 7 and My first year was not at all different, I was still the grade-hungry, shy me. I've made enemies because of this. This arrogance bore forth the goodness in me. Somehow, I've learned so much from people's frustration of me, especially of my family's, na naka-cope ako mag bago ng ugali. I also found God in the process. I learned to rely on him, with Him being my only confidante and friend.

During the 2nd year, I attended some social programs. With the shy mentality still intact, I didnt made that much friends. This embarassed me very much, and I still cringe on the replays of this isolation. I forced myself to be more agressive. My efforts paid off. I acquired so much friends last year. I joined organiztions in my school. There were so many people who wanted to become my friend. I was happy.
With all of this pride brought about by my social blooming, I became a jerk. I looked down on people, and thought that i was better than most of them. Naging plastic ako, and backstabber. When My friends started hating me for this, I realized na bumalik lang ako sa prep days ko, to my old domineering self.

It made me feel so bad, I even felt na wala na si God sa tabi ko. I urged myself to change. It was then I realized na I took for granted my friends because I was blinded by my expectations of what a friend should be. (Kasi since the start of the year, I was praying for a particular kind of friend). Narealize ko na i expected too much, and accepted so less.

My life was a rollecoaster of shattered dreams, horrible scars and emotional depression. Pero sobrang thankful ako na I went through them, cause I learned to grow. Ngayon I feel like I am maturing. I have a strong knowledge of wrong ang right. I disposed my old habits of backstabbing and kaplastikan.

Ngayon I am so confident about trials in my life, na dati sobrang pinagpepray ko na di ko ma go through. People now confide in me, they say na mabait ako and good friend, surprising kasi I dont think of myself that way.

I met God along the way.

Sobrang na realize ko na trials are more significant than happy times in my life.

Pero hindi siya happy-ever-after. Ang dami ko pang pagdadaanan. Its only been a fraction of a time in my cocoon.

Mirror mirror

Why are mirrors considered to be gray in cartoons?

Now that I've thought about it, I also associate mirrors with the color grey..

How can we ever know the true color of mirrors?




la lang....

la magawa

Prep for choir

Just joined a voice class in claret, but dunno really if two students can satisfyingly constitute a voice class. I think its a steal really, 2500 lang for the whole ten sessions, while 3000 naman pag individual. Not only na mura, but i think I would be more comfortable with a friend joining. My choirmate insisted me to join, and i dont think i would never have thought about it if he didnt asked me to join. Mrs. Lugue, who personally resembles regine velasquez, has great credentials, aside from her intimidating looks and first impression, from coworkers. Madami aalis ng choir, especially the good ones, and I think it would be a good idea to mantain our rep.

have great feelings about this, im starting to day dream again! :)

Love.... whatever

I've grown cynical, and i just realized it last insomiac night ahile listening to acoustic love songs. I'm kinda confused if this is a good thing or what, but expectation is gone and feeling lackadaisical. Saw on Tv just last week that romantic love makes us see the good things in our partner or crush, discarding those bad ones, based on credible research and MRI's, of course. This is true, this love illusion drags us all down to the dark pit of marriage, 50 years or more of mediocrity, regret and frustration. Maybe we all we need is true love, not neccesarily romance. I dont believe anymore the sanctity of marriage. I dont really have a reason why i joined the cynicals, but maybe i just need sometime to meet the right person.

lets see.....

Pag-ibig

I observed that people in love change so much. Both of my brothers already have girlfriends, and since they started with that relationship, I became much closer to them. Of course, I already know what love feels, a persistent desire to be with someone. That "kilig" I think is a natural high. It actually changes my perspective on life, creating a reason for me in life.

But a thought came into my head.... When we are not in love, we feel so lackadaisical and empty. Is it because of lack of purpose and expectation that we sometimes feel so empty? Love offers this purpose. Maybe we dont really need love. Maybe all we need are reasons to live.

Sometimes....

Sometimes, I want to say to people that I am dying. Morbid and selfish as it is, this is not a proclamation of hatred of death or anything. I just want to see what would people feel or do once they know that my days and minutes are counted. It just seems fun, for me that is. But of course this is just a trial question and I dont really want to die of course. Like with what happened to Jaime Sullivan, people will tell me how they really feel, say what they want to say and do what they want to do. I can finally see really how many people love me.

Is this attention deficiency?