The stranger

Who is the stranger? Well, its me. Ever since I participated in the YFC organization (a teen religious org, enticing teens to share their faith and abilities), my idea of "self" has become very blurred. As I planned to change my status as a wall flower at yestreday's camp preparation, I felt myself wasnt enough, my normal self that is. I couldnt really act myself cause i feared that it might scar my chance for acceptance. But when i thought about it who is my real self??I had no idea, am i funny? am i cool? am i prudent?Its really hard to put into words, and I felt really confused. Though there are times when I understood myself, having a stable defenition of self, I forget what that definition was.

Sometimes, I behave differently away from home from the way i act at home. The weird thing is, both felt like they were my natural personality, and sometimes I like myself for being my home-self, and aometimes i dont. The same goes for my away-from-home self.........

Sorry if I sound irrational or incomprhensible or ungrammatical or something, Its just that I feel confused. Having a faceless image of myself is hard....Maybe it was because of the exposure to the many personalities in that get-together. Maybe... just hope this will be over..... but to think about it, this isnt the first time.....