That Someone

Just figured out the epitome of what I am looking for in a person. "Someone I can be with at the end of the day". It actually took me a while to set my standards, and it just keeps on evolving. Like before my standard is basically someone I can have a serious conversation with, and shallow laughter is a no-no. But I figured out that it's boring. Humor plays a big part in a workable relationship.

Maybe this "Someone I can be with at the end of the day" stuff is why I object on courtship so much. Courtship fundamentally relies on that romantic ecstasy, concealing the true colors of an individual. It suggests a different persona for the other person. That's probably why so many marriages and relationships turn haywire. People get disappointed and frustrated because they did not get what they were hoping for, or rather what they thought they have, and just decides to end it. Honestly, I don't believe in traditional relationships, where there are chocolates or flowers. To have a fulfilling relationship, all we need is to be honest with our partners, and let fate take its course.

My "intimate" paradise

have just found out that I'm not a "barkada" person, which in English, is a clique. Im not saying that I am anti-social, but I prefer a more intimate environment, one-on-one, an environment where I can really talk well, intimately. I don't know if really bad at groups of 3 or more but, there is an inevitable possibility that one of the member of that clique will feel out-of-place, whether they intended to or not (by some anti-social gene probably). I don't know, I just enjoy it more. This desire for intimacy (not romantically speaking of course) also applies to my musical and artistic preference. For example, I dreamed of an air-conditioned room with pin lights, coffee, jazz music (Norah Jones or Kenny Rankin, preferably), modern arts, a cold night or rainy and dim afternoon, turtle necks…. This is my epitome of intimate. I guess it suggest I am a peaceful person. Guess parties are not really for me… A crappy idea probably of intimacy is a hot, humid afternoon, very bright and quiet, with crappy afternoon shows on tv.

Probably this desire for intimacy was brought about by past experiences. The most happiest times happened on rainy afternoons and inside my mother's private office. This is my paradise…