have just found out that I'm not a "barkada" person, which in English, is a clique. Im not saying that I am anti-social, but I prefer a more intimate environment, one-on-one, an environment where I can really talk well, intimately. I don't know if really bad at groups of 3 or more but, there is an inevitable possibility that one of the member of that clique will feel out-of-place, whether they intended to or not (by some anti-social gene probably). I don't know, I just enjoy it more. This desire for intimacy (not romantically speaking of course) also applies to my musical and artistic preference. For example, I dreamed of an air-conditioned room with pin lights, coffee, jazz music (Norah Jones or Kenny Rankin, preferably), modern arts, a cold night or rainy and dim afternoon, turtle necks…. This is my epitome of intimate. I guess it suggest I am a peaceful person. Guess parties are not really for me… A crappy idea probably of intimacy is a hot, humid afternoon, very bright and quiet, with crappy afternoon shows on tv.
Probably this desire for intimacy was brought about by past experiences. The most happiest times happened on rainy afternoons and inside my mother's private office. This is my paradise…
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